Madame Zombra: We apparently have a bit of a controversy here. Administration has been contacted, but has taken a – must I say it? – bit of an ‘ostrich with its head in the sand’ approach, and frankly, not done much to solve the dilemma.
A.R.Tist: Whoa! Like, man, let’s not get into bad vibes. We signed contracts at different times, big deal – one office didn’t know what the other office had agreed to, and we ended up with two of us assigned blogs on the same day.
MZ: Sir, you surely aren’t suggesting we share a blog?
AR: Would be kinda cool. You make your astrology predictions and I illustrate them. Like with a negative Saturn transit, I paint the rings grabbing people and whirling them around the planet – one huge ‘Himalaya’ ride! Far out! More fun than a bouncy house; safer, too.
MZ: Young man, are you trying to mock the ancient science of astrology?
AR: No, ma’am. I’m a Fish with Tarantula rising and all kinds of sextiles amongst the reptiles in the backwaters of my chart.
MZ: I am beginning to feel a bit queasy.
AR: Oh, wow. That’s the ‘Himalaya’ for you. Don’t ever eat a corn dog before you get aboard.
MZ: Until we can get this impasse straightened out, my bearded, beaded, hippie type, I suggest you take the Friday Head Light Blog and I will resume my Wednesday astrological advice column, where my readers expect to see it.
AR: Okey-dokey, Mistress of the Occult. Ever want your portrait painted, you know who to call.
MZ: I wouldn’t anticipate that action, Mr. Tist. I seek to popularize astrology and make it a bit more understandable to the average reader – not portray myself as a glamorous dilettante dabbling in lesser-known fields of knowledge.
AR: Begging your pardon, Zombra, ol’ sock, but your dilettante days are gone with the pharaohs.
MZ: And your paintings rival anything seen in the caves of antediluvian France.
AR: Chill, baby, chill. We can play with vocabularic insults for hours but we’re not any closer to detente. You keep Wednesdays, even though that’s where I started out and my mother still watches that column for news of me, and I’ll take my paints and brushes to Friday.
MZ: No, no. I’ll take Fridays and you won’t disappoint your mother. But don’t expect me to interpret your chart.
AR: I can put stars on your ceiling if you’d like.
MZ: I may ask you to do that. Anyway, Fridays will be a nice wrap for the week. My readers will appreciate that. Good day, sir.
AR: By the way, I’m one of your readers. Ciao!