Monday, Monday

Another week begins – and are you dreading it, enduring it, or anticipating it? If your least-favorite day of the work week is Monday, but your favorite is Friday, dare I suggest you may be in the wrong job? Or profession? Or, maybe, your attitude is what needs upgrading rather than your corporate status.

I’ve always wondered about corporations which insist on Monday morning meetings for various departments. With the day ruled (traditionally) by the Moon, it would seem everyone’s emotions would be a little ragged. And if some meeting participants have a hangover, more like unraveled emotions and possibly a streak of obstinacy thrown in.

So in the interests of corporate harmony, allow me to suggest another day of the week for those interminable meetings which everyone endures. Now, of course, many of them are being conducted over Zoom, and there’s already a common malady known as ‘Zoom fatigue’ making the rounds. But I only propose alternatives for one problem at a time.

Now let’s return to the ‘attitude adjustment’ I mentioned earlier.

Aries:  My attitude doesn’t need any adjusting, thanks. I know what I want out of this job and frankly, yes, it’s a job, not a career. So it’s just a stepping stone to where I’m really headed. That’s a corner office, if such things still exist, and then my own company. I’ll take it to the top, then sell it for a really nice sum and retire to some unspoiled beach on my private island somewhere. Don’t forget the native flora and fauna, if you get my meaning (wink wink, nudge nudge).

Taurus:  Well, I’m hoping to get my twenty years in at a nice, steady pace and then have a pension, savings and Social Security like we’re supposed to plan for many years before retirement is on the horizon. I don’t like job-hopping and want to work for a good boss while being around co-workers I enjoy. I’m not really sure I want to own my own company – unless it’s a bank. I want to have time to have a happy family life and maybe take up painting or learning to play a musical instrument.

Gemini: (Groan) It’s Monday again already … maybe I should just call in sick and start sending out resumès and queries. I can’t stand the guy I’m working under at the moment – not a new idea in his head. Wants to do everything the same way it’s been done for a hundred years. Surprised he even drives a car instead of a horse and buggy. Doesn’t like any of my new ideas, I can tell you that. I need to work somewhere my ideas are valued. Well, really, I have an entrepreneurial spirit. I should quit and start my own company. That’s my best option.

Cancer: I know how to apply myself and also how to take on extra projects so I can learn everything about my company. I’d like to spend a couple of months in each department so I know how everyone’s supposed to work together for the big picture. If I take some more courses at the U I can get tuition reimbursement and also add to my value to the company. I’d like to be CEO or CFO when I’m about ten years out from retirement. I’m already investing a set amount each month in stock. And it’s due to split next year, so that’ll be a great nest egg, plus I can go to the stockholders’ meetings and get to know all the top tier of decision-makers on my own way up.

Leo:  I’m not so sure this whole company is a good fit for me. I don’t have much authority; yeah, I’m younger than a lot of the top brass, but I do have an MBA. If people listened to me more, I’d be happier. I do have some great ideas and thoughts on where we should take the firm in the next five years. I think I’m going to meet with my boss’s boss and see if he thinks my ideas have merit. If he doesn’t think so, then I’ll start looking around. I need to start moving up a lot more quickly, and some other company would snap me up in a moment.

Virgo:  Yes, it’s Monday, which means I’ll take my lunch as usual but order in a salad to go with my sandwich. Sprouts make my whole-wheat bread soggy, and also they slide off my homemade mayonnaise. I’ve got that report the boss wanted for Wednesday. I wonder if I should turn it in today or wait until tomorrow? If I turn it in today, I’ll have to start on my next one for Friday, but I wanted to do a lot more research for that one. I’ll turn it in tomorrow and get in some research time this afternoon. I only have two clients to consult with this morning, so that works out nicely. I’m due for a review in two weeks too. I wonder what my job performance rating will be this time?

Libra:  Good grief, I can’t wear this tie with this shirt – what was I thinking? I’ll just change quickly and catch the next … no, this won’t work either. Maybe an open-collar look with a blazer – wait, that’s too dated. But I can’t wear jeans until Friday. A sweater. That’ll have to do. I’ll have to go with the car pool this morning after all. Or is it too late to call Mike and have him come by? The bus? A taxi? The boss is going to think I’m wasting money if he sees me get out of a taxi. But he hates it when people are late. So what do I do?

Scorpio:  I’m really getting tired of people trying to stab me in the back because I’m doing a lot more thinking and coming up with innovations they haven’t even heard of. Can’t help it if I’m gifted I in science and technology; they’ve always been my favorite subjects. I need to get that new suggestion to the boss without anyone catching me talking to him. Maybe email? Watch and talk to him in the hall at noon, when everyone else splits? Ought to do like a 1940’s private investigator and slip him a letter detailing just how we could beat out our competition by next spring. We can bury that slipshod, hidebound dinosaur. Especially if he puts me as the project head.

Sagittarius:  Oh, wow, there’s a great game on TV tonight. I gotta get home in time to see that; I’ll call a couple friends to bring beer and pizza and I’ll grill burgers and hotdogs too before the game starts. Oh, wait, there’s that after-hours party for McKenzie who’s retiring after 50 or 60 years of the same old thing month after month, year after year. I hope I never stay with one company like that. I’d die of boredom. I’ll run by his office this morning and invite him to come to the game after his party. I can get that girl I dated last week to pick up some sort of a cake for him and we’ll have that at halftime. Yeah! Sounds great!

Capricorn:  Another three months of slogging through all the updates for the files and I’ll know everything about the entire company – and I’m getting paid for doing the research that’ll tell me where the weak links are. Those weak links should be where I can shine. I’m really good at figuring out the chain of command and where the boss’s nephew can do the least harm. And he should be easy to replace once I show the boss where he’s costing the firm some real money. His incompetence can be a ladder for me to get ahead.

Aquarius:  I need to work where I can feel like my ideas are going to really help the planet or other people or even just animals. I can’t go on working where my passion isn’t even brought up, let alone taken seriously. How did I get into this company anyway? I’m a people person, not an accountant. I don’t want to work with stats and reports, I want to meet clients face-to-face and work out solutions with them. Who do I know that works for a non-profit? Would any of my old professors get me an interview? Maybe I should learn another language or two, then I can go a lot of places in the world, not just here at home.

Pisces:  This work doesn’t really interest me. I don’t see where my reports and presentations at meetings are making any difference in whether people are happy in their environments or not. You’ve gotta be where the right vibes keep you perking and thinking; you know, at the top of your game. Right now I feel like I’m not even on the court, let alone anywhere near my best. I don’t mind the ivory tower, but let me choose which castle it’s in, okay? Don’t tell me to quit being so sensitive. I can read people, it’s a talent. Someday it’ll pay off.

Have a good rest of the work week. If you’re working from home, appreciate the privilege.   MZ