Holidays that weren’t

Image from Project Gutenberg

Were you some of the unfortunate people who experienced bitter cold, howling winds and snow beyond belief? If so, I hope some semblance of normalcy has returned to you and your residence. As for my abode, the local internet provider was storm-struck, the water froze and power went out for luckily only minutes at a time. In retrospect, the only sensible thing to do was to postpone the annual festivities until such time as all could participate without struggling with transportation or other marked inconveniences.

Hopefully many of you received either a gift card or simply, money (not such a terrible gift – it’s always the right fit and never goes out of style, nor is it fattening) and are now wondering what to do with it. Allow me to give you some unsolicited advice, especially with Mercury retrograde until January 18, 2023.

Aries: March 21-April 19

Telling an Aries to get something for his or herself is like telling water to flow over a dam – but let’s keep a little good cheer here and suggest something you may not have thought of, dear Ram. Something like an online class in a subject which interests you; perhaps speaking a foreign language or a gourmet cooking class. If it’s a Zoom class, have fun wearing a chef’s hat and showing off your kitchen with the pots and pans hanging artistically from a rack which holds wine too. If you don’t have a nice-looking wine rack, then skip the class and treat yourself to that instead.

Taurus: April 20-May 20

A cashmere sweater might be your impulse buy, CDs of your favorite classical music, a nice suitcase for future travel. You could set a larger amount of money aside and start a fund to purchase real estate or bonds. A Taurus isn’t going to get something that won’t last – although the temptation for gourmet chocolates is quite strong. Maybe just a small box.

Gemini: May 21-June 21

Since you’re always of two minds anyway, consider making arrangements with a posh restaurant so you pay ahead for dinner for two and then when your server presents the bill, you sign with a flourish and wave your server away. Far more impressive to your date than merely paying with your credit card. If you’re in a serious relationship (for Gemini, longer than a month), purchase matching sweatshirts and tell your current interest you’ll be going camping or fishing or whatever when the weather is suitable. Or buy two thick steaks and fix dinner (you can call a caterer if you can’t cook, remember).

Cancer: June 22-July 22

Use your windfall to get those photos copied of your family that you’ve been meaning to take care of, and include the daguerreotypes and tin types too. (You’ll have to search a bit to find studios who can reproduce the oldest portraits, but they do exist.) That way you’ll have something to cherish long after this sad holiday season that wasn’t has vanished over the horizon. Frame your favorites and hang them in your breakfast nook to start the day remembering what’s special about your family. Be sure to set the table with your grandmother’s china, even if you’re the only one present at the time.

Leo: July 23-August 22

Get tickets to a play you’ve been wanting to see, or go to a retrospective of the movies produced during the Golden Age of Hollywood, just to enjoy the lavish costumes and gorgeous stage sets. (Don’t forget films from earlier times, like Busby Berkley’s extravaganzas.) You could also join a cosplay group yourself and get a little drama in your life. Or perhaps you’ve always wanted a gold ring inset with your birthstone, a ruby for July Leos, granting wealth and respect; and a peridot for August Leos, which grants protection against stress and negativity.

Virgo: August 23-September 22

Choose something that you won’t be able to pick apart or try to return to the store, Virgo. Don’t get another ‘how-to’ book, or another tome on organization and clearing clutter. You already know how to do these things, so why spend money on reinforcing them? Get a kitten; they’re quieter than a puppy and won’t have to be walked at midnight or in a storm. Teach your new companion a few tricks (yes, you can teach a cat tricks) and let it show off for your friends when they come over. You’ll both enjoy being the center of attention for a short time. Do be sure to pick out a very unique name as well, and reward it when it comes to you when you call.

I shall continue this little side trip among the stars tomorrow, so join me here for a bit of pure fluff. The heavens know we all could use some right now. – MZ


1 thought on “Holidays that weren’t”

  1. Hey Madame Z, just wanted to say that my Leo matched up pretty good with your insights. I have in fact been curating my own retrospective of movies from the 1950’s and early 1960’s, plus a few classics from earlier decades (YouTube is great for that). So yeah, good call there. And I don’t know about “joining” a cosplay group, but I follow one. As for the peridot: does it come in powder form? I could use some protection against stress and negativity! Thanks, as always,

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