The ideal pet

Just for fun – what pet appeals to you and others of your Sun Sign the most?

Aries: March 21-April 19 

Anything that would get people’s attention would suit you just fine. Too bad dragons aren’t readily available; an Aries like you will have to settle for a Great Pyrenees, a trained falcon, or competition champion AKC purebred hound. While you probably would enjoy owning a magnificent Friesian stallion, you couldn’t take it to the park or a party at a friend’s house, and therefore you couldn’t point out its attributes to all attending. Photos can’t replace the real thing, and so you’ll get a pet you can bring along.

Taurus: April 20-May 20

Practical ‘pets’ for you could include sheep to shear for their wool (and thereby pay for their upkeep) or a gentle-natured Jersey cow with the richest milk and unsurpassed cream on top. Very small or delicate creatures, a Chihuahua or tiny birds, really don’t fit in with your comfortable but sturdy living quarters. If you could, you’d live on a fully-stocked farm and commute one day a week – or work from home – so you could enjoy Mother Nature daily.

Gemini: May 21-June 21

Birds may fascinate you. If you’re intrigued by them as they effortlessly take to the air as you wish you could, you may become an avid birder or breed your own living feathered gems. Your backyard may be filled with hummingbird feeders and baths and feeders for other birds as well. You have a trained ear and can identify what kind of bird is creating that lovely song or raucous cackle. You may also be able to whistle and have them respond to you.

Cancer: June 22-July 22

Something along traditional lines, a King Charles Spaniel perhaps; a furry friend the children could play with and that wouldn’t disrupt your household routines. You’d love to have your family portrait painted by a really good artist, with all the kids posed just so and the family dog lying at everyone’s feet. A Moonchild looks after the family pet carefully; regular vet visits, grooming and nutritious food will reward you with a long-lived and politely affectionate animal.

Leo: July 23-August 22

A matched pair of Salukis would really please you and your secret inner actor. Leos like a bit of drama added to their daily lives, and a companion that paid more attention to you than others in the room (in spite of offered treats) would warm your heart. And you do meet people while out for ‘walkies’ with your canine companion. According to surveys and armchair psychologists, dog people are more gregarious and outgoing, while cat people are more reticent and introverted. Something to consider.

Virgo: August 23-September 22

A cat or other small, quiet being would be pleasant for a Virgo. You don’t care for the boisterous, loud, romping kind of companion animal some other Sun Signs enjoy; there are too many breakables in your dwelling to view a puppy the size of a Shetland pony with equanimity. Besides, work must come first, and something that must be walked every two hours or so in all kinds of weather is not an appealing prospect. A ferret is quiet, but its cage is nearly impossible to keep spotless and odorless, so factor that in too.

Libra: September 23-October 22

Whatever pet you choose, you’ll likely wind up with two of them, as you won’t be able to choose between two puppies, two kittens or two cute or soulful anythings. A good point here is that they’ll keep each other company when you’re busy or out on the town, so you won’t have to feel too guilty coming home at 3 am. (Although the neighbors will definitely comment if they’re awakened by plaintive puppy howls at midnight.)

Scorpio: October 23-November 21

A Pit Bull, a cobra, a scorpion or tarantula would appeal to your quirky sense of humor, but you likely won’t have pets per se. As you probably have a career that defies description but may involve long and sudden business trips, it would be impossible to arrange for a pet sitter or boarding one at the last minute. (You also don’t want to explain to anyone exactly what you do and why, truth be told.) As a child, you loved Bagheera most in Rudyard Kipling’s ‘Jungle Books’.

Sagittarius: November 22-December 21

Every being from a swearing parrot to a baby elephant has attraction for you. As a child, you brought home so many stray animals your mother swore you were destined to be a veterinarian. You’d love to have a miniature horse; regrettably, the landlord simply won’t believe it’s a new breed of dog, so you’ll have to get timeshares in a ranch, perhaps. Animals respond to you like kids do to Santa Claus: they trust you and depend on you to look after them at first meeting.

Capricorn: December 22-January 19

Caution and the cost of keeping a companion animal in your home dictate your preferences; a good watchdog would earn its keep while also maintaining its independence. You really don’t want something instantly leaping into your lap when you come home late from the office (unless it’s your mate) and prefer to decompress with a cup of tea – or something stronger – and no quick run outside or nasty litter box to clean before dinner.

Aquarius: January 20-February 18

You’d find a monkey as fascinating as you would be to it, and you would doubtless train it to do all sorts of unusual tasks, like bringing you a beer from the fridge or the tv remote. (But don’t allow it to use your phone or computer. Heaven only knows what calls it would initiate or web pages it would peruse.) The two of you will communicate with squeaks and grunts, perhaps going so far as to use hand signals. Enjoy your simian brother, but don’t forget it’s still a wild animal.

Pisces: February 19-March 20

Fish, of course, and the more unusual, the more appealing they are to you, their kindred spirit. A salt-water aquarium would be a true pleasure for you, and the occupants would quickly become companions of a sort. While you can’t walk a Yellow Tang, it will respond to kindness, just as any animate being will, and only a Pisces could teach a fish a trick or two. If anyone can breed exotic fish in the living room, you can – and will.

Better an indulged pet than a spoiled human spouse  – no one has yet divorced a tortoise. – MZ  

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